I was sitting with a couple of friends and we were talking about you. Some felt happy with you, some seemed angry and others were quite meh.
Unlike any of them, I didn’t feel any of those emotions. Frankly, I was a bit confused because
1. I have so many reasons to hate you.
2. I have so many reasons to love you.
3. Well, meh.
So let’s start with number one, shall we?
I hate you because I never got around to losing those extra pounds, that practically haunt me whenever I squeeze into my favourite jeans, instead I’ve gained a few more. (p.s. I call myself fat, you don’t. Period.)
I hate you because I was so heartbroken when I got rejected from two places I really wanted to get into.
I hate you ‘cause I’ve lost respect for so many I once called friends and ended up a bunch of fakes , and I hate you for making me see the truth.
I hate you because I’ve spent most of your days sleep deprived, and stuck in a classroom listening to KR basically abuse us. (kidding, the guy’s “Walter White/Heisenberg” cool)
I hate you ‘cause I’ve spent my 3 months of summer stuck at school, forcing me to deal with the heat and Microsoft Access at 9 am.
I hate you ‘cause I never have the time to read anymore. (fan-fiction does not count, no matter how much you read, people)
As for number two, well….
I love you for finally letting me accept myself, with all my flaws and insecurities, and for letting me love myself, even if it’s just for a few days (compared to the self hate ones).
I love you for letting me be okay with facing the unknown, and venturing outside my bubble even for a tiny bit. Thanks for finally showing me how to cope, how to cope with mood swings and inexplicable sadness.
I love you because I got accepted as the youngest member of a magazine staff. I love you because my article got published on Egypt’s Today website, which is one of our oldest and most prestigious magazines. Also, I get paid every month to do a job I love, and for a woman I absolutely adore.
I love you ‘cause throughout these 12 months, I’ve created a bond with a wannabe Tony Stark wife, a bond that I hope will last way after our lazy butts stop sleeping/procrastinating.
Not to forget all the new friends I’ve made, starting from my sarcasm twitter queen and my actual drama queen, to the girls I’ve come to love through Hamilton. However, I’m absolutely nothing without the one who’s endured my (fabulous) love of David Bowie, Led Zeppelin and Oasis, or the curly haired girl obsessed with Mo Salah and….teddy bears? (she’s 16 istg)
Contrary to mum’s belief, you can make friends through the internet. I made 3 twitter mutuals, who turned out to be god’s gift wallah. Shoutout to farah, who even goes to the same club and is movie/musicals obsessed comme moi! (I would’ve added her @ but she changes it all the time (lo-ki judging you farah))
I love you ‘cause I attended my first concert with my twitter mutuals, a Beatles tribute concert, I seriously had so much fun that day you can’t even begin to imagine. It’s officially my favourite night of the summer.
I love you ‘cause I attended a play by the actor I love the most, as well as a stage adaptation of Charlie and the chocolate factory. I love you ‘cause I attended two open mic events and actually spoke in one. (It was terrible since I was sick but IT COUNTS PEOPLE)
I love you ‘cause summer wasn’t boring for the first time, instead it was filled with street walking, solving on laptops, loads of pizza, cinemas and cafè gossip. It was filled with love towards the coolest teacher I’ve ever come across, and love for an unexpected friend I’ve made.
I also managed to see 27 new film releases in theaters (still counting tho), and I wanna say about 64 at home. OH, AND I CAME ACROSS MY NEW FAVOURITE MOVIE: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946). (’tis a classic and y’all should watch it)
I love you ‘cause I binge- watched House M.D for the second time, and Breaking Bad(which was way overdue), Stranger Things, Shadow Hunters, Shamless UK, Grace&Frankie, Degrassi, Rick&Morty, The people VS O.J Simpson and That 70s show for the first time.
As for the reading bit, I guess one can’t have everything. (well, if you’re the queen of England, pretty sure you can.)
As for the meh part, well, you had a bunch of “life is meaningless” meh days that I very much don’t remember. so,
Yeah 2017, I was a bit confused at first as to what emotion I should feel towards you.
After I weighed it out, I guess I’m not angry or happy. It’s something in between, something that weirdly feels like gratitude and satisfaction.
2017, I’m grateful for all the opportunities you’ve given to me and all those you’ve taken away from me. Excluding all the downer and meh days, I’m satisfied with every single day I’ve lived this year.
Although overwhelmed may not be the word for it, I’m so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened this year, everything that shaped last year’s version of me into the latest 1.7 version.
P.S I attended my second Glass Onion concert last week and it was freakin’ magical. It’s officially my favourite night of the year.
P.S.2 I’m still not a millionaire and I’m blaming you for that.